{"id":4194,"date":"2023-08-26T08:16:00","date_gmt":"2023-08-26T12:16:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/?p=4194"},"modified":"2023-08-29T15:51:28","modified_gmt":"2023-08-29T19:51:28","slug":"overcome-perfectionism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/overcome-perfectionism\/","title":{"rendered":"How I Overcame Perfectionism (4 Coping Mechanisms)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"\">Read time: 3 minutes<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"\">Overcoming perfectionism<\/h2>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">Last week, I rearranged my home studio for the 2nd time in one month.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">I turned everything around, tweaking and readjusting.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">&#8220;The light doesn&#8217;t look good from that angle&#8221; &#8211; my inner critic said.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">And so I changed the position of my rim light.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">&#8220;Those flowers aren&#8217;t visible in the shot&#8221; &#8211;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">I moved the vase until I could see the flowers on my screen.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">I went on and on until I finally gave up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">Then I took a step back, brought out my phone, took a picture of my new set, and &#8230; Oh my! It really did look good.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">That was when I realized I had wasted the whole day tweaking and trying to have the best setup because somewhere in my head I kept thinking:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>It&#8217;s not perfect<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>It&#8217;s still good enough<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>It still needs some tweaking \ud83d\ude44<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<table>\n<tbody id=\"the-list\">\n<tr id=\"post-4203\">\n<td data-colname=\"Shortcode\">\n<div class=\"wp-block-presto-player-reusable-edit\"><!--presto-player:video_id=6--><figure class=\"wp-block-video presto-block-video  presto-provider-youtube\" style=\"--plyr-color-main: var(--presto-player-highlight-color, #ffcc00); --presto-player-logo-width: 150px; \">\n    <presto-player  id=\"presto-player-1\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/jx3J6AAHgOw?iv_load_policy=3&amp;modestbranding=1&amp;playinline=1&amp;showinfo=0&amp;rel=0&amp;enablejsapi=1\" media-title=\"Why I never published my best work\" css=\"\" class=\"presto-video-id-6 presto-preset-id-5 skin-stacked\" skin=\"stacked\" icon-url=\"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/presto-player\/img\/sprite.svg\" preload=\"\" poster=\"\" playsinline  >\n        \n\n    <\/presto-player>\n<\/figure>        <script>\n            var player = document.querySelector('presto-player#presto-player-1');\n            player.video_id = 6;\n                                                player.preset = {\"id\":5,\"name\":\"Youtube Optimized\",\"slug\":\"youtube\",\"icon\":\"youtube\",\"skin\":\"stacked\",\"play-large\":true,\"rewind\":true,\"play\":true,\"fast-forward\":true,\"progress\":true,\"current-time\":true,\"mute\":true,\"volume\":true,\"speed\":true,\"pip\":false,\"fullscreen\":true,\"captions\":false,\"reset_on_end\":true,\"auto_hide\":true,\"captions_enabled\":false,\"save_player_position\":false,\"sticky_scroll\":false,\"sticky_scroll_position\":\"bottom right\",\"play_video_viewport\":false,\"hide_youtube\":false,\"lazy_load_youtube\":true,\"hide_logo\":false,\"border_radius\":0,\"caption_style\":\"\",\"caption_background\":\"\",\"is_locked\":true,\"cta\":[\"\"],\"watermark\":[\"\"],\"email_collection\":[\"\"],\"created_by\":1,\"created_at\":\"2021-10-07 16:54:28\",\"updated_at\":\"2022-02-16 14:47:28\",\"deleted_at\":\"\",\"on_video_end\":\"select\",\"search\":[\"\"],\"show_time_elapsed\":false};\n                                                                player.chapters = [{\"time\":\"0:00\",\"title\":\"Intro\"},{\"time\":\"0:20\",\"title\":\"The Struggle\"}];\n                                                                player.overlays = [];\n                                                                player.tracks = [];\n                                                                player.branding = {\"logo\":\"\",\"color\":\"#ffcc00\",\"logo_width\":150};\n                                                                player.blockAttributes = {\"mutedPreview\":{\"enabled\":true,\"captions\":false},\"mutedOverlay\":{\"enabled\":false,\"type\":\"text\",\"text\":\"\",\"src\":\"\",\"width\":200,\"focalPoint\":{\"x\":0.5,\"y\":0.5}},\"playsInline\":true,\"id\":6,\"src\":\"https:\\\/\\\/youtu.be\\\/jx3J6AAHgOw?si=Yuk-gQdh2W53sMf5\",\"preset\":5,\"chapters\":[{\"time\":\"0:00\",\"title\":\"Intro\"},{\"time\":\"0:20\",\"title\":\"The Struggle\"}],\"video_id\":\"jx3J6AAHgOw\",\"visibility\":\"public\",\"color\":\"#00b3ff\",\"mutedOverlayType\":\"text\",\"mutedOverlayText\":\"Click to play\",\"mutedOverlayImageWidth\":200,\"overlays\":[],\"tracks\":[],\"title\":\"Why I never published my best work\"};\n                                                                                            player.skin = \"stacked\";\n                                                                player.analytics = true;\n                                                                player.automations = false;\n                                                                player.provider = \"youtube\";\n                                                                player.video_id = 6;\n                                                                                                                        player.provider_video_id = \"jx3J6AAHgOw\";\n                                                                player.youtube = {\"noCookie\":false,\"channelId\":\"\",\"show_count\":false};\n                                    <\/script>\n        <\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">If you also struggle with perfectionism (like I did), a coping mechanism may be the best way to deal with it because&nbsp;it doesn\u2019t go away overnight.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">It\u2019s a simple system that helps you decrease the level of stress you feel on a daily basis. So instead of constantly striving for perfection &#8211; <em><span style=\"--tcb-applied-color: var$(--tcb-skin-color-14) !important; color: var(--tcb-skin-color-14) !important;\">with the belief that imperfection is unacceptable<\/span><\/em>, <span style=\"--tcb-applied-color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important; color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important;\">you&#8217;re focusing on the positives&nbsp;<\/span><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important; --tcb-applied-color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important; color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important;\">and no longer afraid to put out your best work.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">But unfortunately, It takes time to learn how to overcome it.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">But it doesn&#8217;t have to be that hard. By applying James Clear&#8217;s rule of getting <em><span style=\"--tcb-applied-color: rgb(255, 204, 0) !important; color: rgb(255, 204, 0) !important;\">1% better<\/span><\/em> and making tiny improvements daily, you&#8217;ll see noticeable changes in the long run.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">So today I\u2019m sharing 4 things I do to help you overcome perfectionism and be kinder to yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">Let&#8217;s begin:<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"\">#1: By <span style=\"text-transform: capitalize !important;\">Becoming aware of your tendencies<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">The first thing I usually do is try to catch myself when I begin to have perfectionistic thoughts. I notice this when my inner critics begin to point fingers at my work, and then I start making unnecessary changes or giving excuses.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">Identify your tendencies<\/span><\/a><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">. It could be being highly self-critical, procrastination, or setting unrealistic goals&#8230;.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">You may not realize it but by becoming aware of these patterns, you&#8217;re in a much better position to alter them.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.verywellmind.com\/signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-3145233\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\"><img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Signs you may be a perfectionist\" data-id=\"4289\" width=\"700\" data-init-width=\"750\" height=\"467\" data-init-height=\"500\" title=\"Signs you may be a perfectionist - Verywell mind - Vanessa Mbamarah\" src=\"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/Signs-you-may-be-a-perfectionist-Verywell-mind-Vanessa-Mbamarah.jpeg\" data-width=\"700\" data-height=\"467\" style=\"aspect-ratio: auto 750 \/ 500;\" data-link-wrap=\"true\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p>Signs you may be a perfectionist &#8211; by verywell<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"\">#2: <span style=\"text-transform: capitalize !important;\">By ignoring your inner critics<\/span><\/h2>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">We all have them, those critical voices in our head always telling us our work &#8220;Isn&#8217;t good enough&#8221; or &#8220;We need to make one more edit&#8221; or &#8220;Someone else did it better&#8221;.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">If you&#8217;re going to overcome perfectionism, you need to stop listening to your inner critic and start appreciating yourself and your work more.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>#3: <span style=\"text-transform: capitalize !important;\">By honestly evaluating your expectations<\/span><\/h2>\n<p>When you set unrealistic goals for yourself, you overthink things and eventually stress out when you don&#8217;t meet these expectations.&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Setting attainable goals will keep you from pursuing unattainable perfection. This way, you can achieve your goals faster with the resources you have.<\/p>\n<p style=\"\"><a href=\"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/overcome-fear-and-build-self-confidence\/\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"outline: none;\" rel=\"noopener\">Here&#8217;s how I do this<\/a>\u200b:<span style=\"\"><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"\"><span>I begin by breaking down bigger goals into bit-size goals I can easily complete.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span>Then I set a realistic time limit and stick to it to avoid spending too much time tweaking and making never-ending changes.<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>Finally, I reward and celebrate my small wins<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>#4: <span style=\"text-transform: capitalize !important;\">By doing things afraid<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">The moment you decide to do something new &#8211; fear creeps in, filling your head with unsolicited opinions: &#8220;You&#8217;ll fail&#8221;, &#8220;This isn&#8217;t the best time&#8221;, or &#8220;Do it tomorrow&#8221;, &#8220;No one will listen to you&#8221;, &#8220;Don&#8217;t post it just yet&#8221; blah blah blah!<\/span><\/p>\n<p data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">You can either:<\/span><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">Accept it &#8211; throw your idea out the window (I wouldn&#8217;t recommend this)<\/span><\/li>\n<li data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">Ig<span style=\"--tcb-applied-color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important; color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important;\">nore it &#8211; go ahead with your plans \u2705<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"--tcb-applied-color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important; color: rgb(255, 255, 255) !important; font-size: 20px !important;\">Do it afraid, make mistakes, learn from those mistakes, and keep going. This is the only way you&#8217;re ever going to overcome that fear and build self-confidence.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2>Final Thoughts<\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">Rome wasn&#8217;t built in a day, and neither will you overcome perfectionism overnight.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">The most important part of this? Committing to and trusting the process.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">The more you make small intentional improvements daily, you begin to appreciate yourself and the amazing work you do.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">This is how you overcome perfectionism.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 style=\"\">TD;LR<\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li style=\"\"><span>1<\/span><span>&#8211; Become aware of your tendencies<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>2<\/span><span>&#8211; Ignore your inner critics<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>3<\/span><span>&#8211; Honestly evaluate your expectations<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"\"><span>4<\/span><span>&#8211; Do things afraid<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\"><strong>Remember:<\/strong> You&#8217;re playing the long game. Focus on getting <em>1% better<\/em> and making tiny improvements every single day.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">I&#8217;m rooting for you always.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 20px !important;\">#KeepBuilding<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Overcoming perfectionism takes time, but applying a simple rule of getting 1% better and making small daily improvements can lead to noticeable changes in the long run. Here are four coping mechanisms to help you overcome perfectionism.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4340,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[100,99,101],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4194"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4194"}],"version-history":[{"count":72,"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4194\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4353,"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4194\/revisions\/4353"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4340"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vanessambamarah.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}