How To Overcome Fear And Build Back Your Self Confidence

August 19, 2023

Read time: 3 minutes

Overcome Fear And Build Self Confidence

To overcome fear, you must first learn to live with it.

That's right, it never leaves.

It hides in the shadows, waiting for you to make that one decision that'll transform your life..... and then its hideous face appears, and the struggle for control starts.

To reach your maximum potential, you must confront your fears and take back control.

But first, let us address how important it is to conquer fear.


Representation has enormous power and impact.

When you share your unique story and knowledge - a domino effect begins.

You are able to convey your own point of view, thoughts, and philosophy, exposing your audience to a different side of life (yours) and allowing your voice to be heard.

Your confidence develops as your reputation spreads.

You begin to gain influence, increasing your income and having a greater impact as you assist more people in overcoming their own challenges.

But, before you can get there, you must first put yourself out there.

For many people, this is the point at which panic sets in and they begin to doubt their ability.


The problem with allowing fear to hold you back is that it leaves you in a perpetual state of doubt.

For years, I wanted to pursue my dreams.

I'd actually talk myself into it, only to talk myself out of it.


Because I was afraid.

I convinced myself that I needed to wait for the fear to go away before pursuing my goals.

I was wrong. That is not how you conquer fear.


What you need to understand (what no one told me) is fear follows you no matter what you do or where you go.

As long as you don't let it take the wheel, it's fine.

Else, it'll do one of the following:

  1. 1
    It slams on the brakes, preventing you from doing the things that will help you move the needle in your life, career, and business.
  2. 2
    It causes you to gaze in the rearview mirror, back to where you're trying to move away from - your past, your mistakes, your grief, limiting beliefs.....

Here are four basic steps I took to overcome my fear and regain my confidence.

Let's begin...

Step 1: I changed my mindset

You must let go of old things that no longer serve you before you can hold on to something new.

I knew I couldn't undo the events of my past, nor could I erase the terrible events that had occurred, but I could rebuild through my actions.

First, I stopped asking myself "Why?" (since it kept me stuck in the past), and instead saw each situation as a learning experience that helped me grow stronger.

Second, I altered my belief system (my mind), letting go of limiting beliefs and accepting my flaws.

This allowed me to concentrate on my strengths rather than my fear of failure.

Make yourself the conqueror, not the victim. 

Step 2: I Started small

Overcome Fear

The moment you decide to do something new, fear comes right at you with its own opinions.

  • "I'm not sure you can do this"
  • "This isn't the best time to start that business"
  • "You are not experienced enough"
  • "You are not experienced enough"
  • "No one will listen to you"
  • "It's not good enough, don't post it" ...... blah blah blah

You have two options:

Option 1: Accept its viewpoint and toss that dream out the window. (This is not something I would encourage.)

Option 2: Ignore it and continue with your plans - even if you're terrified.

Setting BIG goals causes anxiety and lowers your ability to stay consistent.

Here's the framework I'm using to get around this:

1 BIG Goal → Bit-Sized Goals → Systems → Lifelong Habits

Allow me to explain.

Step 1: Set a goal.

⤷ Grow my newsletter from 10,000 to 20,000 subscribers in three months.

Step 2: Create a list of all practical scenarios for achieving that goal.

Increase my blog's traffic by 30% (Your objective should be measurable.)

Step 3: Ask yourself, "What is one small thing I can do today that can help me finish this task"

⤷ At the end of my LinkedIn posts, I'll include a call to action (CTA) to an article on my blog.

Step 4: Complete that one tiny task every day, no matter how perfect or prepared you are.

Block out time on your calendar to do this daily.

Remember that dedication + discipline equals better results and more self-confidence.

🧠 Building Tips: 

  • When breaking down larger goals into smaller goals, keep them simple.
  • Begin with one task at a time, accomplish it, and then go on to the next.
  • Commit to completing the task. No excuses.

Step 3: I joined new Communities

Vanessa Mbamarah With Kevin Goins At Lisa Nichols Speak And Write Conference

Vanessa Mbamarah with Kevin Goins at Lisa Nichols Speak and Write conference

I joined Lisa Nichols' speakers community because I wanted to improve my speaking skills. Her campus allowed me to interact with other speakers who understood my situation and were willing to help.

Each session was long and difficult, but the positive mindset and enthusiasm of the others served as pure motivation for me.

I learned to open up and be vulnerable in a smaller supportive group, which boosted my confidence and allowed me to remain focused on the future.


If you follow these three steps, you will notice a shift in your way of thinking and an increase in your confidence.

Rather than staying safe, you'll start taking little calculated risks.

So, the next time you're overwhelmed and hesitant to act, remember these guidelines and just take action. 

I have faith in you. And you should as well.

Keep Building

See you next week.


  1. 1
    - Change your mindset
  2. 2
    - Start small
  3. 3
    - Join other communities

I have faith in you. And you should as well.

Keep Building

See you next week.

P.S. What other ways have you found effective in overcoming fear? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this below 😊

Whenever you're ready, here are a few ways I can help you.

1. GBP Troubleshoot: Visibility for your brand has never been more important than it is right now. Get help verifying your business on Google or reinstating a suspended Google Business Profile.

2. Promote your business to 10,000 subscribers by sponsoring this newsletter (Opening in Q4)

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Build the life you want

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